Chapter 4: Come Out of Your Hidey-Hole (pt 2)

Part 2

As a child, I struggled with a fear of rejection and a need for acceptance. If you read my earlier chapters, then you’ll know what I’m talking about. The sad truth is that the pain of severe rejection doesn’t go away as you get older.  You have to deal with it in one fashion or another.

For me, I chose to hide in fantasy role-playing games. I got involved in these games when I was in college. In 1990, fantasy role-playing games became a place of refuge from the outside world. My old group probably did not know of the hellish summer from a few years before. That summer ordeal served to exacerbate the existing emotional pains in my heart.

In 1990, I was introduced to the world of fantasy role playing games. It seems that I had found my hidey-hole. It was a chance to escape and hide from the outside world. I deceived myself into thinking the games would somehow help me. In reality, these games are not meant to solve problems of the heart.

What kinds of games am I talking about? Games like Generic Universal Role Playing (GURP), Advanced Dungeons & Dragons (AD&D), Top Secrets, and Marvel Superheroes. The group would use a paper based character sheet and dices when playing. I would just create a fictional character and interact in an imagined setting.

By their very nature these games drew me in like a magnet.  For me, fantasy role playing games became my hidey-hole. With a touch of irony, I was still afraid to venture forth from my little hole. Do you see a problem?

My hidey-hole was potentially becoming a prison as opposed to a place of safety.  I seriously needed to come out my own hidey-hole. I had serious problems and these games were not helping. In reality, they were never meant for such a purpose. By hiding, I was simply avoiding the problems.

Donn was a member of my old group. He did point me in the right direction when saying “You need to talk with a counselor to solve your personal problems.  It’s not solved by hiding in a fantasy game world.”

He was right. I had to learn to deal with the problems and not run from them.  Thankfully, there is someone that I can easily go to for right counseling. In time, I would learn this truth.


<- Chapter 4: Come Out of Your Hide-Hole (pt 1)  TOC  Chapter 4: Come Out of Your Hidey-Hole (pt 3)-> above is from my first book, A Lesser Human: An Anthology of Overcoming. If you enjoyed what you have read, then I invite you to buy the actual book. It’s currently available on Amazon.

My book is available in both, print and for the Kindle platform.  You can buy your own copy of my book, by clicking on the link, below.

Overcoming Depression

Last week, I was reading a post on Paul Soares Jr.’s website. The writer was thanking Paul for saving his life. The young man was suffering from depression. Would you have thought that an entertaining storyteller could help someone? How about a YouTube video centering on a game, with same storyteller? Here is the young man’s story, if interested.

While reading his story and the helpful comments, I felt a need to share my story of overcoming depression. I would love to say, “A magic wand was waved over me and presto!” Alas, this is not the case. Nevertheless, God, the Father was faithful in seeing me through it. Continue reading “Overcoming Depression”

My Thoughts On Richard Cory

In 1897, Edwin Robinson wrote a poem called “Richard Cory”.  It would later become better known as the Ballad of Richard Cory sung by Simon and Garfunkel.  As I read the original poem and read some of the commentaries, I am struck by a familiar chord.

In the poem, there is a man who’s extremely wealthy and greatly admired by everyone; including those in poverty.  Richard Cory was not only admired for his wealth, but also his intelligence and his social status.  In the Ballad of Richard Cory, the man was the owner of a company town; where everyone works for him.

Richard Cory’s admirers would even go on to say “Oh, to be like Richard Cory!”  In the same breath, they would complain about their own circumstances and ignore the good things they do have.

It never dawn on them that Richard Cory may have admired the good things they do have.  They never imagined that Richard Cory was empty inside and in deep need.  They have placed Richard Cory on a pedestal and assumed that he had no personal needs.

Someone could say “Why doesn’t he say something or be more transparent?”  With whom? Everyone in the town was too busy assuming.  Even if he could have said something; no one was willing to listen and see clearly the look of pain lurking behind the facade.

One day, it all came to a crashing end.  Richard Cory took a gun and shot himself.  He died alone. Though Richard Cory had wealth, good physical appearance and possibly a good standing in his church; it was all to no avail.

Richard Cory’s tragedy is twofold.  On one level, there was no one to share his life’s struggles, hurts and disappointments or share in his personal joys.  He desperately needed real friends to take an interest in him.  He needed people to reach out and connect with him; even if it’s just a text message.

The second part of Richard’s tragedy is, “Did he even know Jesus?”  Was God ever a real part of Richard Cory’s life.  In truth, I strongly feel that both are needed to overcome depression and loneliness.

I say this, more from experience than anything else.  It is because of Jesus, I am able to overcome my own bout of loneliness and depression.  Jesus has been a true Friend and always will be.  He was a Friend; long before becoming Lord and Savior.

Not Good To Be Alone

Yesterday, I was reading R.G. Maines’s Medicare “Shut-In” The story can be found at her blog site: Chirpings From The Nest.  I have to sympathize with the author’s struggle with getting a power wheelchair.  It seems Medicare has a preconceived notion that a quality of life equals getting around in one’s own home.  It seems to have escaped their notice that one’s life is more than just their house or apartment. It is also important that one is able to be interact in a community.  As I read of her struggles, I am quietly thankful for my own community of friends and family.  As it happens, the author seems to share a similar view.

Continue reading “Not Good To Be Alone”