“Has anyone been in a perfect church?” asked a friend, in a small Bible study group. I simply chuckled; however, someone did raise his hand. “I did,” Bob said facetiously. I knew where he was coming from because I have been to one too.
The people, of the Bishop’s church, were friendly. Though, I could get into small talks, the conversations rarely ever went deep. I don’t recall the sharing of personal struggles and the offering of prayers. I was left with the impression of “Everyone else seems to have it, together. What is wrong with me?” Truth is, it was a façade.
I know James said in James 1:2-4, “Consider it all joy that we suffer hardship”; however, James is not advocating that we act like phonies. Everyone suffers trials, but it is how one acts during the trials that impresses people. What has this to do with fellowship? Fellowship is about relationship. How can we share in each others burden, if we’re too busy putting on a show?
What does real fellowship look like? Is there a model, somewhere? Yes, it is in the Book of Acts. When reading Acts 2:42, I marveled at what Luke describes and asked myself, “What is missing?” “This is so different from what I had experienced, so far.” After leaving the Bishop’s church, I would soon get my answer. A few years later, I was at a small church run by Pastor Aulson.
“Barry, you need to plant yourself in a church. You need to receive nourishment from other believers and nourish them, in return.” This message struck a chord in my heart and I gladly received it. What church is the gentleman speaking of?
Was Aulson speaking of the church, as a building? Did Luke mean an organized religion when writing of the assembly of believers? Is it watching Joyce Meyers or Charles Stanley on television, or the Internet? The simple answer is “no”. The man was saying, “I needed to be a part of a community; not merely an attendee of one church or another.”
The church is the community of believers that comes together to worship God, the Father and His Son, Jesus. It is the assembly of saints who come together and ask for God’s direction or action in a matter. It is the gathering of believers who have come to enjoy God and each other.
It is not the building that makes one a follower of Christ Jesus. It is not the denomination that makes a Christian. It is not membership in a specific church that marks one a believer in Jesus. Rather, it is those people who accepted Christ, as Lord who are the church.
In Acts 2:41-45, it is shown the believers being actively involved in each other’s life. It was not a mere “hi” and “bye” type relationship. Their relationship with each others went beyond a typical Sunday service. They had meals together or spend time, together. They thought nothing of helping each other or those in needs. There was no thoughts of denominational issues.
For me, this has created a strong yearning for more of what the early church had. Funny thing is, I didn’t have to travel back in time to experience this.
While I was attending Pastor Aulson’s church, I have made some good friends. One day, I get a visit from one of them. Someone has given my friend, John, 10 boxes of large frozen pizzas. Deciding what to do, God placed it on John’s heart to share some with me. John had no idea my freezer was nearly empty. I was totally blown away by this.
A second friend, from a different church, came by for a visit. While I was occupied, DeeDee looked inside my pantry. DeeDee knew I was struggling and wanted to check up, on me. Upon seeing an apparently empty pantry, she secretly went food shopping for me. I was blown away when DeeDee came with her husband and the grocery. When putting away the grocery, she got her own surprise. Wrong place!
I can now testify to the truth in Psalm 37:24-26. God does indeed provides for His children. John and DeeDee are not the only examples that I can point too.
In my current church, a friend needed help with his old backyard deck. Blair was having it removed, so a new one could be built to accommodate a new swimming pool. A few men, from the church, went over and helped rip out the old deck, in the midst of pouring rain. Fellowship means giving of our time; even when it’s not fair weather.
We’re not perfect and do make mistakes. We all need help, at one time or another. Yet, we are also not mind readers! If DeeDee has not looked or John been told then they would not have known of my needs. Truth is, it never dawned on me, to ask. Pride was getting in the way. We knew of Blair’s need because it was asked. Don’t be afraid to ask, it is part of being in a church and having fellowship.
When a man is hurting, it is very difficult to reach out and receive help. I am speaking from experience. Once I was at a Bob Larson conference and so wrapped up in my own problems that I could not see the pains of others. Such is the case with narcissism. I needed both pushing and encouragement to break out of my shell. Could this be one reason that God desired me to plant myself in a church? It is because I needed help in coming out of myself and learning to place my eyes on Christ Jesus.
It is not easy to come out of a protective shell; after experiencing a great deal of hurts. The temptation is to think “No one sees my pain! No one really cares. I got to do this, myself.” Guess what? My friends could see my pains and did care. Fellowshipping is seeing the pains of others and reaching out; even when we don’t know how or what to say. It also means “You’re not alone!” Stop believing the lies!
The church was never meant to be a social club. It is not about hanging with a certain group of people on a Sunday or a specific denomination. It is about building real friendship with each others and those outside our comfort zone. Fellowship is about relationship that goes beyond a Sunday church service.
My mom once claimed “Wrestling is great for socializing.” She was trying to get me, out of the house and socializing with friends. My mother is partially right about wrestling practice being social. Before I get a visit from my old wrestling coach and teammates, the socializing is after wrestling practice and not during it. J After practice, it is fine to invite a friend over or go out for pizza. Funny thing is, the door was open and I just needed to walk through it.
It is the same way with fellowship. Fellowship is not just going to church and seeing each other. Like my old coach, Brett would likely say the same thing. “Save it, for after church!” Sadly, some of us look at Sunday church service like some view wrestling practice. “It’s social!”
Like wrestling, it is just a starting point. It is what is done afterward that will create fellowship. Yes, it is a two way street and I have to make an effort, too. I have only mentioned a few of the friends I fellowshipped with, over the years. They are not friends because they just said “hello”. We’re friends because we went beyond the “hello” and dug below the surface.
