Escaping the Bubble

When working at Arizona Industries f/t Blind, in 1995, I had a conversation with a woman named Dorothy.  This woman is in her 50s and is rather direct and to the point.  “Barry, you really need to stop talking about computers,” says Dorothy.  “Why?” I asked. “You’re agitating people here,” she explained.  It seems I was threatening “the Bubble”.

What is this mysterious bubble?  Is it a spatial anomaly encompassing the place?  Is it just a local phenomenon?  Better yet, how does one escape this bubble?  First, it’s neither a spatial anomaly nor mysterious local phenomenon.  The bubble is a place of safety one flees to when hurting.  We think ourselves “safe” inside this bubble; however it is not so.

One day, I talked with some casual friends at Arizona Industries for the Blind, about this bubble.  I would hear statements like “It’s safe in here”, “The outside world isn’t too accepting of blind people” and “It’s all we know to expect”.  It did not take long to pick up on a sense of creeping depression or hopelessness in that environment.

What would they have said, if they knew of Governor David Patterson?  He’s visually impaired and the governor of New York.  Paterson was not the only politician with a disability and neither was FDR.  As it happens, The Political Grave Yard: Politicians with Physical Disabilities provides a not so short list of disabled people serving their country.  What would the reaction been, if they learned of a blind psychologist?  Would anyone want a blind lawyer?  In fact, I read once of a blind lawyer working for APS.  APS is a power company located in Phoenix, AZ.  It seems the truth was not agreeing with my friends’ image of reality.

What happened to cause this distortion of truth?  They have been hurt and come to have a poor expectation of the outside world and themselves.  It just seems safer hiding inside the bubble than venturing outside the bubble. Truth is, their bubble has become a refuge for depression, poor self esteem and hopelessness.  Sadly, people who are hurting will often hurt other people.  It really isn’t safe inside such a bubble.

It was time to escape the bubble.

The blind community is not the only ones to have experiences with this bubble.  Remember, the bubble is a place of safety and protection from the outside world. It is a place where one develops a distorted view of reality and truth.  We think ourselves safe in this place and yet we’re not safe.  We will even use this place for different purpose than its intended use.

Arizona Industries f/t Blind was never intended to be an escape from the outside world.  A.I.B. was designed to provide low skilled blind individuals with meaningful employment.  It is also a good place for a visually impaired man, who just moved from New Jersey, to build a job history.

How do I know about this bubble?  A.I.B is not the first place, I have seen it.  In fact, I fled to such a bubble, back in 1990.  For me, I have experienced a great deal of hurts and rejections and I was seeking “an escape”.  Fantasy role playing games provided a natural opportunity.

In this instance, I am referring to paper based role playing games like Generic Universal Role Playing (GURP), Advanced Dungeons & Dragons (AD&D), Top Secrets, and Marvel Superheroes.  I simply create a fictional character and interact in an imagined setting.  The group used pencils, papers and dices when playing these games.

I had so wanted to escape the real world; these games just drew me in, like a magnet.  I claimed to myself, “I wanted to improve my speech.” However this was simply not the truth.  I just wanted to escape the pain of rejection.  For me, fantasy role playing games became my bubble.

There is one problem; we’re not supposed to hide inside our personal bubble.  We’re no safer inside the bubble than we are outside the bubble.  As a fellow role player once said “Role playing games was meant for fun. You’re not supposed to solve your personal problems, with it!”  Donn is so right, when he said this.

I was trying to use the games for something it wasn’t designed for and it had no ability to help.  If anything, my problems became potentially worse.  This bubble had not the power to grant acceptance. In fact, I was less accepted inside the group than I was outside.  In fairness, I don’t claim to be perfect in my behavior. As I said earlier, hurting people hurt other people.

Donn did point me, in the right direction when saying “You need to talk with a counselor to solve your personal problems.  It’s not solved by hiding in a fantasy game world.”  It’s true, I had to learn to deal with the problems and not run from them.  Thankfully, there is one that I can easily go to for right counseling.

It would be some time before it would dawn on me, to go to God for help.  It would be some time before I’d learn about God’s love and provisions.  It would be some time before I would learn of Jesus’ promise to “Never leave me or forsake me.”  It would be some time before I’d learn of God’s total acceptance of me. The more I came to know God; the less needs for these places of escape.

It is with God’s strength, I received healing through prayers, reflecting on Scripture, forgiving those who hurt me and talking with some real friends that I escaped the bubble.  Donn had the right idea; however I needed to include God.

If Donn and the others could talk, they’d likely say “They are not the only ones hiding from the outside world.  We’re just honest about it.”  True enough.  I said earlier that A.I.B isn’t the only place where I have seen the bubble. The bubble can exist inside churches, political ideology, social groups, bars and etc.

How does one escape this bubble? I broke out of my bubble by learning to trust Jesus.  You see, Jesus never promised his early followers, a rose garden.  The one thing Jesus did promise is, he would always be with them would never forsake them.  The same is true, today; for this promise is for all believers.

A second key for escaping the bubble came in recognizing that there are others who can identify with me, in a right way.  By this, I do not mean commiserate with me.  I refer to those who know how to push you forward.  This is why it’s good to be in a church with real friends.  Please remember, a church is not meant to be a hiding place.  Rather, it a place to equip, encourage and propel you forward.

A third key is forgiveness.  I had to forgive those who hurt me.  I had to let go of the pains and the hurts and surrender it, to God.  Sadly, it has not always been a one time, affair.  I’ve had to keep doing it.  St. Peter had once asked Jesus, “How many times must I forgive?”  What was Jesus’ reply?  “Seventy times seven” was the answer.

I also needed to see that I inflicted hurts on others and needed forgiveness. Yes, I can confess my sins and ask God to forgiveness and look to the Cross and know I’ve been forgiven.  See 1 John 1:9.   However, here comes a shoe drop.  There have been times where God had me call someone and ask for forgiveness.  Other times, I had to tell the person “I forgive you.”

The fourth key is to stop feeding the lies that I believed.  I had to stop believing lies that encourage depression and low self esteem.  I had to stop feeding my sense of rejection and finding acceptance in all the wrong places.  You could even say, “I had to stop feeding my addiction”.  I had to ask God, for help in learning the truth and I had to feed myself with the truth of Scripture and that nothing can separate me from God’s love for me. See Romans 8:38-39.

Here is the last key to escaping the bubble.  Be not afraid to step out of your bubble.  Fear is often what keeps us trapped inside it.  Be not afraid to take a step of faith and step forward.  I had to choose to step out of my bubble and leave it, behind.

Romans 8:29-32 was a help in doing just that.  Here, Paul reminded the believers in Rome that God is very much for them and they’d need not be afraid.  Psalm 32:24 says of the righteous man, “Though you stumble, God is faithful to uphold you in his strong right arm.  These promises are true for us, today.

It time to come out of the prison.  It is time to escape the bubble.